Feeling Lost? Here are 3 Things To Rediscover Yourself

Do you feel like you have lost yourself, even a part of yourself? Do you keep trying to get to who you used to be but can’t seem to get there? This happens when we move through our lives while still holding ourselves to expectations and standards that don’t move with us. For instance, you may want to fit back into the clothes you wore 5 years ago or want to get back to the same energy that you had then as well. You may say to yourself “if only…” or not understand what is getting “in the way” to get back to you then. That version of you was then and is hard to let go of.

What can I do when I feel this way? Great question! There are 3 things that come to mind: grief, acceptance, and rediscovering the now you.

1) Grief

This might seem like an odd one, cause we are talking about you, not others. Grief can occur not just from the passing of a loved one, but from what once was. You deserve to grieve the life you once had. You have the right to reflect on the past. Grieving will help you acknowledge that you miss who you once were. Don’t push it away. You do not want to sit in this grief day in and day out, however, you deserve to reflect on where you once were to now. This will also help you know how you want to move forward.

2) Acceptance

While going through grief, you will eventually come to acceptance. Approaching acceptance is coming to meet who you are right now, in the present moment. You lose yourself when trying to go to the past and capture parts of you that you want to still carry forward. Those parts of you no longer fit your current you. This does not mean anything is wrong or broken, it is different.

Moving to acceptance allows you to move away from unrealistic expectations. You can feel how those past things do not fit in the now. This is why you feel lost, anxious, stressed, and more.

3) Rediscovering the Now You

This can be like the old “Now That’s What I Call Music…Volume X”. You can rediscover yourself again and again, you don’t get it right and don’t need to the first or tenth time in this process.

When you grieve and accept you for where you are now, it is time to re-write you! This does not mean you are a brand new person, this means you are now able to outline what goals, standards, and expectations work for you now. When you revisit these, you will become better aligned with the now and move away from living in the past or the “I used to be…” times.

An example of this practice is taking “I feel like I have no energy, I used to spend all my free time with friends, going out, and not being at my place” and moving it to “I feel rested and energized when I spend time doing more introverted activities. This helps me when I am socializing.”

Another helpful way is writing out core values that you identify with. Here you can find some examples of personal core values, this is not all that can be identified, but can help you start this process. Look through this list, find how many fit you and provide your own definition to those you identified with:

Click Here for the Core Values List

Accountability

Adaptability

Adventure

Affection

Attentive

Authenticity

Awareness

Balance

Brilliance

Calmness

Capable

Caring

Charity

Clever

Comfort

Commitment

Communication

Community

Compassion

Competence

Confidence

Consistency

Contentment

Contribution

Courage

Courtesy

Creativity

Credibility

Curiosity

Decisiveness

Dedication

Dependability

Determination

Devotion

Dignity

Discipline

Efficiency

Empathy

Endurance

Energy

Enjoyment

Enthusiasm

Equality

Ethical

Excellence

Excitement

Experience

Expertise

Exploration

Fairness

Faith

Family

Fearless

Fidelity

Fitness

Focus

Foresight

Forgiveness

Freedom

Friendship

Fun

Generosity

Giving

Goodness

Grace

Gratitude

Growth

Happiness

Hard Work

Harmony

Health

Honesty

Honor

Humility

Humor

Imagination

Independence

Individuality

Innovation

Inquisitive

Insightful

Inspiring

Integrity

Intelligence

Intuitive

Joy

Kindness

Knowledge

Leadership

Learning

Logic

Love

Loyalty

Maturity

Meaning

Moderation

Motivation

Obedience

Openness

Optimism

Organization

Originality

Passion

Patience

Peace

Playfulness

Poise

Positivity

Power

Productivity

Professionalism

Prosperity

Purpose

Quality

Recognition

Respect

Responsibility

Results-oriented

Security

Self-actualization

Self-development

Self-reliance

Self-respect

Selfless

Sensitivity

Serenity

Service

Sharing

Silence

Simplicity

Sincerity

Skillfulness

Solitude

Spirituality

Stability

Status

Stewardship

Strength

Structure

Success

Support

Sustainability

Teamwork

Temperance

Thoughtful

Timeliness

Tolerance

Toughness

Traditional

Tranquility

Transparency

Trustworthy

Understanding

Uniqueness

Unity

Vision

Wealth

Wisdom

These 3 stages of discovering yourself can occur again and again. That means you are still working and you may move through the stages with less intensity and even move through them with something else that you miss about yourself. You may spend more time on one stage versus another, there is no right way or time to move through them.

Better Minds Counseling & Services and Brittany Webb, LPC provides online therapy services in Pennsylvania. With online therapy, mental health counseling is near you, just a click away. Contact a therapist here or schedule your first call directly here.

Blog Disclaimer - These posts are not meant to treat, diagnose, or serve as a replacement for therapy. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local crisis center or dial 911. Here are more immediate resources as well.