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Feeling Lost? Here are 3 Things To Rediscover Yourself
Do you feel like you have lost yourself, even a part of yourself? Do you keep trying to get to who you used to be but can’t seem to get there? This happens when we move through our lives while still holding ourselves to expectations and standards that don’t move with us. For instance, you may want to fit back into the clothes you wore 5 years ago or want to get back to the same energy that you had then as well. You may say to yourself “if only…” or not understand what is getting “in the way” to get back to you then. That version of you was then and is hard to let go of.
What can I do when I feel this way? Great question! There are 3 things that come to mind: grief, acceptance, and rediscovering the now you.
1) Grief
This might seem like an odd one, cause we are talking about you, not others. Grief can occur not just from the passing of a loved one, but from what once was. You deserve to grieve the life you once had. You have the right to reflect on the past. Grieving will help you acknowledge that you miss who you once were. Don’t push it away. You do not want to sit in this grief day in and day out, however, you deserve to reflect on where you once were to now. This will also help you know how you want to move forward.
2) Acceptance
While going through grief, you will eventually come to acceptance. Approaching acceptance is coming to meet who you are right now, in the present moment. You lose yourself when trying to go to the past and capture parts of you that you want to still carry forward. Those parts of you no longer fit your current you. This does not mean anything is wrong or broken, it is different.
Moving to acceptance allows you to move away from unrealistic expectations. You can feel how those past things do not fit in the now. This is why you feel lost, anxious, stressed, and more.
3) Rediscovering the Now You
This can be like the old “Now That’s What I Call Music…Volume X”. You can rediscover yourself again and again, you don’t get it right and don’t need to the first or tenth time in this process.
When you grieve and accept you for where you are now, it is time to re-write you! This does not mean you are a brand new person, this means you are now able to outline what goals, standards, and expectations work for you now. When you revisit these, you will become better aligned with the now and move away from living in the past or the “I used to be…” times.
An example of this practice is taking “I feel like I have no energy, I used to spend all my free time with friends, going out, and not being at my place” and moving it to “I feel rested and energized when I spend time doing more introverted activities. This helps me when I am socializing.”
Another helpful way is writing out core values that you identify with. Here you can find some examples of personal core values, this is not all that can be identified, but can help you start this process. Look through this list, find how many fit you and provide your own definition to those you identified with:
Click Here for the Core Values List
Accountability
Adaptability
Adventure
Affection
Attentive
Authenticity
Awareness
Balance
Brilliance
Calmness
Capable
Caring
Charity
Clever
Comfort
Commitment
Communication
Community
Compassion
Competence
Confidence
Consistency
Contentment
Contribution
Courage
Courtesy
Creativity
Credibility
Curiosity
Decisiveness
Dedication
Dependability
Determination
Devotion
Dignity
Discipline
Efficiency
Empathy
Endurance
Energy
Enjoyment
Enthusiasm
Equality
Ethical
Excellence
Excitement
Experience
Expertise
Exploration
Fairness
Faith
Family
Fearless
Fidelity
Fitness
Focus
Foresight
Forgiveness
Freedom
Friendship
Fun
Generosity
Giving
Goodness
Grace
Gratitude
Growth
Happiness
Hard Work
Harmony
Health
Honesty
Honor
Humility
Humor
Imagination
Independence
Individuality
Innovation
Inquisitive
Insightful
Inspiring
Integrity
Intelligence
Intuitive
Joy
Kindness
Knowledge
Leadership
Learning
Logic
Love
Loyalty
Maturity
Meaning
Moderation
Motivation
Obedience
Openness
Optimism
Organization
Originality
Passion
Patience
Peace
Playfulness
Poise
Positivity
Power
Productivity
Professionalism
Prosperity
Purpose
Quality
Recognition
Respect
Responsibility
Results-oriented
Security
Self-actualization
Self-development
Self-reliance
Self-respect
Selfless
Sensitivity
Serenity
Service
Sharing
Silence
Simplicity
Sincerity
Skillfulness
Solitude
Spirituality
Stability
Status
Stewardship
Strength
Structure
Success
Support
Sustainability
Teamwork
Temperance
Thoughtful
Timeliness
Tolerance
Toughness
Traditional
Tranquility
Transparency
Trustworthy
Understanding
Uniqueness
Unity
Vision
Wealth
Wisdom
These 3 stages of discovering yourself can occur again and again. That means you are still working and you may move through the stages with less intensity and even move through them with something else that you miss about yourself. You may spend more time on one stage versus another, there is no right way or time to move through them.
Better Minds Counseling & Services and Brittany Webb, LPC provides online therapy services in Pennsylvania. With online therapy, mental health counseling is near you, just a click away. Contact a therapist here or schedule your first call directly here.
Blog Disclaimer - These posts are not meant to treat, diagnose, or serve as a replacement for therapy. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local crisis center or dial 911. Here are more immediate resources as well.