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Understanding Oversharing: Self-awareness and Healing Why Do We Overshare

why am I oversharing?

Have you ever found yourself sharing more information than intended, only to later wonder, "Why did I say so much?" You're not alone. Oversharing often stems from our innate desire for connection and validation. At times, it may be fueled by emotional intensity, like excitement or distress, leading us to cross our own boundaries in the heat of the moment. Other times, it's a search for understanding and empathy from others. This behavior can also be a reflection of how comfortable or anxious we feel in a situation.

The Unintended Consequences of Oversharing

After oversharing, it's common to feel a mix of emotions. You might experience regret, embarrassment, or vulnerability.. Maybe a little palm to forehead saying “Shoot!  Why did I do that!”. Sometimes, there's a fear of being judged or misunderstood. These feelings are natural responses to realizing that we might have exposed more of our inner world than we intended. They can serve as signals, helping us to understand our boundaries and emotional needs better.

Steps to Cultivate Mindful Sharing

  • Self-Reflection: Take a moment to understand your triggers. What situations or emotions lead you to overshare? Why did you feel you needed to continue to share more and more in that moment?  Reflecting on these can help you prepare better for future interactions.

  • Setting Boundaries: It's essential to define what you're comfortable sharing. Boundaries are not just about what you keep in, but also about what you let out. They help in maintaining a sense of self-respect and personal space.

  • Mindful Communication: Practice being present in conversations. Listen actively and give yourself permission to take pauses. This can give you space to assess what you're sharing and why.

  • Seek Feedback: Sometimes, we're not the best judges of our behavior. Trusted friends or family members can offer insights into your sharing patterns and help you gauge them better.

How Therapy Can Assist in Managing Oversharing

A therapist provides a safe and non-judgmental space to explore the reasons behind your oversharing. They can help you:

  • Understand Underlying Issues: Sometimes, oversharing is linked to deeper emotional challenges or past experiences. A therapist can assist you in unraveling these layers.

  • Develop Healthy Communication Skills: Through therapy, you can learn effective communication strategies that respect your boundaries and those of others.

  • Boost Self-Esteem: Oversharing may be tied to seeking validation. Therapy can help in building self-esteem and self-acceptance, reducing the need for external validation.

  • Emotional Regulation: Therapists are able to teach techniques to manage emotions that trigger oversharing, helping you maintain emotional balance.

Understanding and adjusting your sharing habits is a journey, and takes time to break down an old habit and start a new one. It's about getting to know yourself better and nurturing healthier interactions.  More importantly, having relationships that you want and enjoy. If you're considering therapy, know that it's a step towards empowering yourself in this journey. You're not just working on oversharing; you're cultivating a deeper, more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Better Minds Counseling & Services provides therapy through our virtual mental health platform. Brittany Webb, LPC CCATP, a certified clinical anxiety treatment expert and licensed professional counselor, is ready to help you have the relationships you want! Schedule your free introductory session with her today!

Blog Disclaimer - These posts are not meant to treat, diagnose, or serve as a replacement for therapy.  If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local crisis center or dial 911.  Here are more immediate resources as well.

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