The Realities of Adult Friendships: Building, Maintaining, and Navigating Change
When we were younger, friendships often formed naturally through school, sports, or simply living in the same neighborhood. As adults, making and keeping friends feels much more complicated. Between busy schedules, careers, family responsibilities, and life transitions, friendships sometimes take the backseat. Yet, meaningful connections remain essential for our mental health and overall well-being.
Let’s look at some common challenges in adult friendships, why they matter, and how you can navigate them.
Making Friends as an Adult
It’s no secret that making friends in adulthood feels intimidating. Without the built-in structure of school or activities, opportunities to meet new people aren’t always obvious. On top of that, many adults carry self-doubt or the assumption that “everyone already has their people.”
Challenges in making friends:
Feeling awkward initiating conversations.
Limited free time outside of work or family.
Worrying about rejection or not “fitting in.”
Keeping Friendships Alive
Even when you do make friends, keeping those connections strong takes effort. Schedules get packed, and sometimes weeks or months pass without checking in. Unlike childhood, friendships don’t always maintain themselves; they need intentional nurturing.
Common struggles with maintaining friendships:
Mismatched effort (one person reaching out more than the other).
Difficulty finding time that works for everyone.
Life transitions, like moving, getting married, or having kids, that shift priorities.
Navigating Different Stages and Conflict
One of the hardest parts about adult friendships is realizing that people change. Friends may enter new life stages at different times, which can create distance or tension. Conflict, too, can feel more daunting in adulthood—we might fear losing the relationship altogether, so issues go unspoken.
Situations that can arise:
One friend becomes a parent while another focuses on career growth.
Conflict builds around unmet expectations or communication breakdowns.
Drifting apart but not knowing whether to repair or release the friendship.
When unaddressed, these challenges can create feelings of loneliness, grief, or questioning your self-worth.
3 Things You Can Do on Your Own
Take small steps. Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or invite someone for coffee. Consistency matters more than grand gestures.
Be honest about capacity. It’s okay to say, “I can’t hang out this week, but I’d love to set something up soon.” Boundaries build healthier connections.
Lean into vulnerability. Sharing your struggles, rather than always putting on a strong front, helps deepen trust.
5 Ways a Therapist Can Help
Explore barriers you face in forming or keeping friendships.
Develop communication tools for addressing conflict and expressing needs clearly.
Build confidence in initiating and maintaining new relationships.
Work through grief if a friendship has ended or changed. That is still grief as a relationship has changed and now your expectations in that friendship is also changing (even though you may not want that to happen)
Support your social well-being alongside mental health needs, recognizing the deep impact friendships have on emotional health.
Adult friendships aren’t always simple, but they’re incredibly rewarding. Whether you’re struggling to meet new people, navigating conflict, or learning how to balance life changes, remember you’re not alone. Relationships take work, and it’s normal to need support in strengthening them.
At Better Minds Counseling & Services, we help adults navigate the ups and downs of friendships, build healthier patterns, and create fulfilling connections. Click here to get connected with a therapist today.
